


Are You Happy?

by ColonelChanSan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Kei is bad at feelings, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-03 05:03:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10236485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColonelChanSan/pseuds/ColonelChanSan
Summary: When Kei's best friend Tadashi starts dating Hitoka, he wants to be happy for them, but when confusing feelings arise, he finds himself rather miserable.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [knightswatch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightswatch/gifts).



> This is my entry for the HQ!! Rare Pair Exchange 2017!  
> For Rae (knightswatch.tumblr.com)  
> It's TsukiYamaYachi, as in OT3  
> I've never written poly before, so I was very unsure how to go about it, but I hope it's okay.

Kei knew from the very first moment that his best friend had a crush on their new manager. Well, not from _the very_ _first_ moment, but he knew from the moment they were walking home together that evening after their official manager, Kiyoko Shimizu, introduced a mousey first year girl to the volleyball club as someone who was ‘trialing’ the manager position to take over when Kiyoko graduates.

“Hey, you know, Tsukki? Yachi-san is kind of cute,” Tadashi had said, in a dreamlike voice that had Kei convinced he was in a bit of a trance and didn’t realise he was speaking out loud. “I hope she joins the club and becomes our new manager.”

That’s how Kei knew. Then it had dawned on Tadashi what he had just said and he began to stammer and blush.

“N-No, not cute, I mean, she is, but not in that way… just, y’know, like, like…”

“Like how a hamster is cute?” Kei suggested, and really, it wasn’t too far off from how he felt about the new girl. She was skittish and small and reminded Kei exactly of a tiny, fluffy rodent.

“Y-Yeah!” Tadashi laughed nervously, obviously scared Kei would figure out he had a bit of a crush. Kei didn’t get why, though. What’s the worse he was going do? Tease him? Sure, Kei could be a little antagonizing sometimes, but only towards those who deserved it, never his best friend. And sure, maybe having a crush was a thing dumb enough to be teased about, but Kei wasn’t that cruel.

 

It wasn’t until a little while later, after their Spring High preliminaries, that Tadashi had finally confessed to Kei he had a crush on Hitoka Yachi, their first year (now for real and permanent) manager.

“Eeehhh, really? I had no idea,” Kei deadpanned. 

“Tsukki! Are you saying you knew?” Tadashi exclaimed, becoming flustered.

“Ah, yeah, busted.”

Tadashi pouted, but then he grinned. “As expected of Tsukki! Nothing gets past you.”

Kei just shrugged at that and asked Tadashi what he planned on doing next.

“Eh? Oh, uh, I haven’t really thought about it…” he muttered. Kei just hummed and the conversation ended there.

But from then on, Kei kept a close eye on the two of them, giving them opportunities to interact, without looking like he was having too much of a hand into their potential relationship blossoming. Kei had to admit, but he was rather fond of Hitoka. She was a nervous wreck and incredibly skittish, but she was surprisingly intelligent and creative. Unlike most girls who interacted with him, she didn’t fluster or blush, or stammer, or confess her love and admiration without having said a single word to him before. She wasn’t the first crush Tadashi has ever had, but she was the first Kei actually liked and wouldn’t mind if his best friend dated her.

Of course, there’s no way he’d admit that, but he’d subtly convey his blessings by teasingly asking Tadashi if he confessed yet, or actually joining in a little when the conversation became about her.

 

It wasn’t long after their second year started, towards the end of April, that Tadashi confessed to Hitoka. He took her out of her class at lunch and led her to a secluded spot outside. Well, it seemed secluded because there wasn’t anyone around, but Kei could see it from the window in his class. He wondered if Tadashi did that on purpose, so Kei could watch over and offer moral support without actually being there. He watched the both of them fluster, and fidget and at one point, Hitoka crouched on the ground, shaking, while Tadashi panicked.

 _‘They’re both messes, and that’s why they’re perfect for each other,’_ Kei thought as he sipped his orange juice. It was kind of cute, actually. Eventually, the both of them calmed down and exchanged some words. Kei couldn’t make them out, but they were smiling, so it must have went well. Hitoka ran away, and Tadashi quietly fist-pumped to himself. Kei waited for Tadashi to return and when he did, he was grinning like he just won the lottery, which to most guys, Kei assumed, a cute girl accepting your feelings felt just like.

“Tsukki! Yachi-san and I have a date this Sunday!” He said.

“Ehh, good for you,” Kei said, feigning nonchalance, but he was genuinely happy for his best friend.

What he didn’t get though was why he was with them on their date. Tadashi was a nervous wreck so Kei decided to be a good friend and at least come with him to the meeting point, then leave. But Hitoka had seen him, and - _for some weird reason_ \- invited him to join them. Then - _for some even weirder reason_ \- Tadashi agreed.

Maybe they just weren’t comfortable being alone together just yet. That was fine. As long as this didn’t become a habit.

 

It became a habit.

Lunch, walking to and from school, dates on the weekend, Kei was always with them. He wasn’t even a third wheel at this point, more than just an accessory to their relationship - like he was actually a part of their relationship, and it wasn’t complete without them. Despite that, he seriously felt left out. Whenever they held hands (which took them like, a whole month of dating to do for the first time,) or whenever they were all cutesy and romantic, Kei felt incredibly left out and - dare he say it? - jealous. But of what or whom he didn’t know. When Tadashi made Hitoka smile, he found himself wishing it was him who did that. When Hitoka made Tadashi flustered, Kei found himself wishing he was capable of that. 

Oh, maybe he wasn’t jealous of either of them, just envious of what they had. But in all honesty, Kei never really thought about dating or girlfriends or anything like that before. He never found himself caring too much about that sort of thing, even though apparently all guys his age cared about was finding a girlfriend. He found himself quite content without one, and the whole idea of looking for one seemed too much of a hassle, and dating them even more so.

Frustrated, he raised his voice at them one day, telling them he wasn’t going to hang around them anymore, it’s not his relationship, and that they had to learn to actually be alone together! He stormed off, ignoring Tadashi’s calls for him. After that, he ate lunch alone, walked home alone, and waited until evening on Sundays for Tadashi to come over and tell him about his date. Slowly, Kei realised he was seeing a lot less of his best friend nowadays. They still talked as much as they always did in texts, but physical conversations or even just his presence were lacking more and more. If he and Tadashi weren’t in the same class, then the 2 hours of volleyball after school would be all they saw of each other. Kei was starting to feel a little bit empty, like a piece of him was slowly being chipped away into a hole. He and Tadashi were always close, he was Kei’s first and only friend. He worried that if things kept up like this, soon enough they’ll drift apart completely, and he’ll be left alone.

The only thing keeping his hopes up are the constant texts, and that when they are together, Tadashi treated him no differently than when they were before.

He could always go back to third-wheeling, but that wouldn't solve anything and would probably just be detrimental to all parties involved. Not to mention the jealousy that arouse whenever he saw them together, without a solid sense as to where these feelings were coming from.

He knew that at this critical time of desperation and emotional turmoil, there was only one person he could turn to.

“Well, if this isn’t a nice surprise!” Akiteru greeted him when Kei approached his apartment door on a Sunday noon and knocked. However, the grin faltered immediately after the moment Akiteru gets a good look at his little brother’s face. “Is everything okay?”

Kei smiled on the inside. That was just like his brother, able to read him like an open book so much so that even a single glance was enough to tell Akiteru that something was on his mind. Others would say Kei was stoic or nonchalant, but those who knew him, especially his older brother who he grew up with, were able to pick up the slightest hint of change in his expression or even just his aura. Because although Kei tried his best to keep his expression neutral, nothing got past his big brother. In a way, he relied on that.

Kei shook his head. “Can I come in?”

“Of course,” Akiteru said and moved out of the way so Kei could enter and take off his shoes. Akiteru shut the door and offered him a pair of slippers. Kei followed his big brother into the kitchen where Akiteru began making tea. He sat at the small table, staring at a spot on the surface, until Akiteru’s voice broke his trance. “Did you want shortcake as well?”

“What?” Kei asked for clarification.

“I have a slice in the fridge. Did you want it?”

“... Sure,” Kei couldn’t exactly say no to his favourite food.

After a short while, Akiteru placed a mug of tea and a plate of shortcake in front of Kei.

“Here you go,” he said. He grabbed his own mug from the counter and sat opposite his brother. “I always keep a slice of shortcake in the fridge for you, in case you come over.”

“And if I don’t?” Inquired Kei.

“I give it to my girlfriend,” Kei looked up at Akiteru with an incredulous look until his brother burst out laughing. “Joking! I don’t have a girlfriend! I either bring it to you, or eat it myself,” Akiteru admitted with a grin. Kei could swear, but never out loud, that that smile alone could create world peace and cure disease. It was the strength of that smile Kei once believed in long ago, and it was the strength of that smile he was relying on right now. “Something tells me you really need it right now, though.”

Kei simply hummed and took a sip of tea. As he slowly drank and ate, the brothers stayed mostly quiet. Though Kei knew Akiteru knew something was wrong, he was understanding in that he wouldn’t interrogate Kei about it, and instead gave him time and space to talk about it on his own terms. If Akiteru did speak, it was only to ask mundane questions like _how’s school going?_ or _what are your classes like_ ? or _how’s the volleyball club?_ Questions Kei could give one word answers to, or the very most, a short sentence.

Once Kei finished his cake and tea, he thanked his brother and Akiteru was quick to tell him _‘no problem!’_ and take his dishes to the sink. He then turned and leaned back against the counter, looking at Kei.

“So, ready to talk about what’s up?” He asked. Kei exhaled. He wanted to, he really did, but he just didn’t know  _how._ Talking about his feelings and problems has never been one of his strong suits.

Akiteru walked up to him and pat him on the shoulder, gesturing with his other hand to stand up and follow him. Kei obliged and Akiteru lead him to the couch, where he sat and patted at the cushion next to him. Sighing, Kei sat next to his older brother. The couch was rather comfortable and Kei found himself sinking into it and relaxing. Akiteru put an arm over the back of the couch behind Kei, as a gesture of support. Akiteru was slightly turned to him, but Kei remained looking straight ahead at nothing in particular. Then, he began to speak.

“Yamaguchi has a girlfriend,” he said.

“Oh, you mean little Hitoka-chan?” Akiteru asked. He was already familiar with Hitoka, having met her at Kei’s volleyball games, but what surprised Kei was that his brother knew she was Tadashi’s girlfriend. Noticing his surprise and confusion, Akiteru explained himself. “I got a text from Tadashi all about it.”

“Ah,” Kei wasn’t sure how to respond to the fact his best friend and big brother kept in contact. A fact he knew but constantly forgot.

“So, now that Tadashi has a girlfriend, you’re not spending as much time together and you’re afraid of losing him?” Akiteru guessed and, well, he was right. But that was only one part of the problem.

It was as if Akiteru’s words opened a dam, and Kei started explaining the whole situation. About how he felt jealous when they’re together, but who he was jealous of he didn’t know. How he thought it was just envy instead, but Kei didn’t really want a relationship with anyone else. About how although they were the ones in a relationship, he was still a part of it somehow, more than third wheel and yet he felt left out. How when Kei decided to stop ‘third-wheeling’ he ended up seeing less of them both, but now he missed them, Tadashi especially, and was scared of losing the only friend he had.

Akiteru listened intently, and when Kei was done, with a slightly anguished and frustrated cry of not knowing what to do or how he even feels, there was a moment of silence - then, Akiteru cracked the biggest smile.

“Hey, Kei, did you know it’s possible to have a crush on two people at once?” Akiteru said. “Also, that it’s possible to fall in love with two people at once?”

“I’m not in love,” Kei argued.

“Not yet, but you could be.”

“What are you talking about?”

Akiteru hummed and held his chin in thought. “Kei, you say you don’t experience any interest in anyone, including idols and celebrities, right?”

“Yeah, and…?”

“But, you have interest in your best friend and his girlfriend.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Kei raised his voice in disbelief. Akiteru merely shrugged.

“Well, from what you’ve told me, that’s what it sounds like.”

There was a moment’s pause.

“That can’t be it,” Kei muttered. Another pause. “Can it?”

Akiteru shrugged. “Only you can say for sure whether you do or not.”

Kei just huffed, and after another moment’s pause, leaned his head against his brother’s shoulder.

“What do I do?” He sighed. Akiteru wrapped an arm around his shoulder and pulled him in closer, his hand squeezing Kei’s upper arm in comfort.

“Confess,” Akiteru suggested with conviction. “It’s the only thing you can do. If not about any romantic feelings, then at the very least, what you just told me.”

Kei didn’t say anything, just continued to stare straight ahead into nothing. Akiteru kept going.

“You miss them, don’t you? Especially Tadashi? If you don’t tell them at least that much, then they’ll never really know.”

Kei decided to take Akiteru’s word for it. After all, if there’s one thing they both learned from the past, it’s that keeping feelings hidden tended to cause more problems than it solved. They were both still growing in that area however, due to Akiteru’s pride and Kei’s fear, but they both agreed to try a little better this time. But why stop at just each other? They should be honest to the people around them.

Especially the ones they’re closest too. 

Akiteru rubbed Kei’s arm and pressed a kiss to Kei’s forehead, which he complained about, protesting that he wasn’t a little kid, yet making no effort to move away. Akiteru merely chuckled and offered to drive Kei home, and if he was hungry, they could stop for something to eat on the way. They got ramen at a cheap food stand, since Akiteru was still waiting on payday. Once home, Akiteru sticks around for a while to talk to their mom, but as he left Kei gave his sincere thanks. Akiteru nodded and told Kei to let him know how it goes, and to come to him anytime he needs anything. He held out a fist and Kei bumped it with his own. Waving goodbye, he left, and Kei went up to his room, laid back on his bed and put his headphones on, going over in his head what to say to Tadashi and Hitoka, trying to make some sense of his feelings.

 

It took him over a week before he finally worked up the courage to call out to Tadashi and Hitoka after club activities and ask if he could walk home with them.

The two of them smiled at each other, then smiled back at Kei.

“Sure,” Tadashi said. 

“It’ll be nice to walk together,” said Hitoka.

They walked side-by-side, and out of the corner of Kei’s eye, he noticed the couple holding hands. Biting his lip, he tried to hold back his jealousy until Akiteru’s voice appeared in his mind again, encouraging him to confess. Exhaling, he stopped walking for a moment. Tadashi and Hitoka took a few steps forward before they realised Kei wasn’t keeping up, so they also stopped and turned to him.

“Tsukki, is everything okay?” Tadashi asked. Kei stared ahead at the ground, lacing his fingers in front of him, a habit he does whenever he’s nervous.

“I… I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I’m sorry I pushed you guys away, it’s just…”

“Just what?” Hitoka encouraged.

“Did you really enjoy having me around all the time? Even though you’re a couple?” Kei asked.

“Of course we did,” admitted Hitoka. “Right, Yamaguchi-kun?”

“Yeah, it was a lot more fun with Tsukki around,” Tadashi agreed.

Kei’s eyes went wide. “But… you’re the ones who…”

“Yamaguchi-kun and I both discussed it and well, we find that without you, Tsukishima-kun, even though we’re together, it still feels a bit lonely,” said Hitoka.

“Like something’s missing,” Tadashi added.

Kei’s words got caught in his throat, but only just for a second, until they pushed through like gushing water and he began to explain everything. His jealousy that he couldn’t place, how he didn’t want - couldn’t imagine - being in a relationship with anyone but either one of them. How he didn’t want to be a third wheel, but didn’t want to not be together with them, and most of all, how confused he was about everything.

Tadashi and Hitoka looked at him for a moment, then smiled softly. The reaction startled Kei, although he wasn’t sure what he was expecting.

“We’re so glad,” Hitoka said.

“Yeah, we were hoping you felt something like that,” confessed Tadashi. Still holding on to Tadashi’s hand, Hitoka offered Kei her other one.

“Want to go out with both me and Yamaguchi-kun, Tsukishima-kun?” She asked. Kei looked at her, then at his long time best friend, who smiled and nodded. Kei felt his stomach flip, and then his heart flutter as he took Hitoka’s hand.

They continued to walk side-by-side, hand-in-hand, and when Kei looked at his best friend, his girlfriend, and their connected hands, he felt a warm, fuzzy feeling inside his stomach he could only call ‘happiness’.

 

The following Saturday night at Kei’s house, the three of them snuggled up on the couch together under a blanket, with Hitoka between Tadashi and Kei, surrounded by snacks to watch movies on TV. However, at one point Kei turned his eyes from the TV to watch Hitoka and Tadashi next to him, and they eventually noticed.

“What is it, Tsukki?” Tadashi asked.

“Do I have something on my face?” Hitoka slightly panicked, touching her face to brush off whatever she thought was on there.

“No, your face is fine, I’m just…” Kei’s voice quieted into a mumble.

“Sorry, Tsukki. What was that?”

Kei mumbled again.

“Tsukishima-kun, please speak up. We can’t hear you over the TV if you mumble.”

“I’m happy, okay?” Kei raised his voice. Then he became embarrassed and turned his face away to hide his red cheeks. He heard giggling, then Hitoka calling to him. He turned and surprised when she put her tiny hands on his cheeks and kissed him swiftly on the lips.

“Was that okay? Sorry if it was so sudden, I…”

“No, that was… fine…” Kei muttered, licking his lips.

“Then, can I do it as well?” Tadashi asked shyly. Kei shrugged so Tadashi leaned in, while Hitoka moved a little to give them room. Their lips pressed against one another softly and Kei thought it strange he was kissing the boy who was once his childhood friend, but it wasn’t bad.

Tadashi pulled away, and they all looked shyly away from each other, giggling softly.

“Now that means we’ve all had our first kisses with each other,” Hitoka pointed out. Kei and Tadashi looked at her for a moment, then smiled as they all snuggled closer to each other and continued to watch the movie, eventually falling asleep as they were in each other’s arms.

 

_[To: Nii-chan_

_Subject: I confessed_

_So it looks like I have both a girlfriend and a boyfriend now. I know it’s weird, but you told me to tell you how it went, and well…_

_Anyway, thanks again for your help.]_

 

_[From: Nii-chan_

_Subject: RE: I confessed_

_No way!!!_ Σ(･o･;)

 _I’m so proud of you, my little brother all grown up._ *✲ﾟ*(´∇ﾉ｀*)ノ

_Don’t worry about it being ‘weird’. As long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters. You’re happy right?]_

 

_[To: Nii-chan_

_Subject: RE: RE: I confessed_

_Yes, I am.]_

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it!  
> And yes, yes I know, I involved Akiteru again, so typical of me :^)  
> Also big thanks to chromyrose for beta-ing this fic for me!


End file.
